Moving Away to Get Closer to Me.

3 Months Alone and 4 Hours From Home.

I've realized how important it is to spend time by yourself. I'd say, if you're not used to it, time alone can be pretty difficult. But that's the point.

When alone, you're faced with who you are – the real you. You have the uninterrupted time to explore your quirks, your wonders, your strengths, and your greatest fears. To me, I realized how essential it was/is to dig deep into who I am – and to dig into a greater version of myself, ultimately.

That's why one day, I said, f*ck it.

At the beginning of June of 2016, I left my job at the radio station, the cozy house I was living in, my friends, my family, and my comfort zone. I had a great life. I didn't lack much but some time to self reflect. I just turned 22, and realized that there wouldn't be a better time to just "run-away." So that's what I did... well, sort of.

I called up some restaurants in northern Michigan, that were conveniently located by my parent's summer cottage. I took a serving position and then the next week after that, I packed up my wardrobe in my 1998 F-150 pickup and drove north.

& Just like that, I was on my way to my very own summer camp.

How I Discovered it's Essential to Spend Time Alone

I live by the motto: if you're not happy alone, you're not happy. By alone, I mean, happy with yourself – within your own skin. That was something I was missing and what I needed more of – internal happiness. At the time, I was okay with life. I was content, but also frustrated. I was frustrated by how I handled certain situations in my life. I was frustrated that I was still trying hard to get to "happiness" when in reality, happiness isn't a destination after all. Happiness is within, and a choice I can make every day.

I moved up north for a total of three months. I didn't know anyone besides the neighbor. The only thing I was familiar with was the location and hopefully, by the end of my "retreat," I'd be more familiar with who I am.

I spent my evenings serving at a bistro, small talkin' with strangers, pouring them a glass of Crown Royal or a Grand Traverse Riesling. I built connections with my coworkers, and sometimes we'd go out too and connect more over some cocktails.

During the day, I'd wake up, make myself a cup of joe, sit near the lake, and write a page or two in my journal. I documented everything and wrote down my inner feelings and pure thoughts. Every. Single. Day. I ended up writing daily in a journal for over two years.

When I wasn't writing in my journal, I swam. I would even take a bar of soap and bathe in the lake too. There's just something about the smell of lake water and natural soap that translates to an earthy-therapy. After my swim, I'd take a walk. A long walk, preferably. I'd walk the trails down the road and even take my shoes off while at it. The dirt and soil between my toes brought a sense of pleasure between my body and spirit.

Now, not to get too hippie' on you, but these natural, nature-like curiosities allowed me to dig deeper into more of who I am as a person. Not only was I alone through all of this, but the nature around me helped put things more in perspective. Life is what we think, create, and what we view in this world. It's not about those outside forces or frustrations that define you. It's how you react and respond to what's around you.

During those months, I met people who taught me lessons at the time. I swam so much, and even at midnight while I star-gazed deeply. I climbed trees (and fell out of trees). I hand-picked strawberries and blueberries and made homemade pies. I practiced mindful yoga and meditation. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I also ate a worm – for no reason, but it certainly was fun.

The Lessons I Learned

There's nothing like taking time to be by yourself — your true self. Even as I reflect on that time right now as I'm writing this, I feel a sense of gratitude and self-awareness. When you're alone, all you have is yourself. You have to decide what's best for you and what you want in this world.

I left my complacent lifestyle and came back with more self-worth. I ended the relationships I needed to end and left the job(s) that weren't serving me anymore. I gained a certain confidence in myself that I was missing. I've realized when you know your true self, you have more of a better understanding of what you truly want, and most of all, what you truly deserve.

Today, nearly four years later, I'm not perfect, but I do believe I'm better than who I was. Genuinely, I think that journey of spending a summer alone, out of my comfort zone and exploring life had brought a tremendous sense of self-worth to my soul.

I'm still nurturing and practicing self-love, patience, and my biggest challenge: anxiety. But that's part of the journey in life. We only have ourselves. Our bodies. Our minds. Our souls. We decide what's best for us, and we determine what's not in alignment with who we are. No one else decides this for us. After all, if we don't take the time to know who we are, who or what will determine our future?